Really, what is not to love about this crazy, over-the-top performance? From the barely dressed Roman centurions in three metal wheel-cages (what the…?) to undulating, blond-maned Svetlana Loboda’s pouty-lipped come-hithers, you know you’re in for a ride from the get-go. Amid the swirling light show and bursts of steam, two bewigged giantesses (on hidden platforms) in silver lamé observe from the sides, like figures out of Homer, Lewis Carroll, or Drag Race.
Then the acrobatics begin: a soldier jumps from a great height, whereupon Svetlana is carried aloft then flipped then whipped around dangerously then flipped again, punctuating the sexy Romans’ go-go dancing, which is doubtlessly causing the camera to pulse and blur with their gyrations.
Are we done? No. Svetlana takes her place behind a set of drums — bedecked in two large Ukrainian flags blowing from their own wind — which she then enthusiastically and expertly beats, all while being dragged across the stage by the imperial hunks.
But wait, there are even lyrics to crown this zany gem. Just this taste of the wordcraft seals the song’s immortality:
You are sexy – bom
You are so sexy – bom
Gon' make me crazy – bom
We're gonna do the bom bom
Ain't that amazing – bom
I'm very busy – bom
It's not so easy – bom
I'm gonna tease you – bom bom
Without a reason – bom…
My pride and prejudice
I will just reminisce
These are the things you can't miss
Come on, give me a kiss
Baby, I can save the world
I'm your anti-crisis girl
In all, this frothy absurdity is a Eurovision delight for me. That this was Ukraine’s gift to the 2009 Moscow contest is just icing! Bom!