Ask any British Eurofan and they’ll tell you that Jemini’s “Cry Baby” is the bottom of the barrel for British Eurovision entries. And points-wise, they’re demonstrably correct. It doesn’t get worse than last place with nul points! When the UK, home to 5 Eurovision winners and a record 16 runners-up, managed nul points with Jemini in 2003, it prompted a national debate as to how this could have happened. Some assumed that Europe hadn’t voted for the UK because of their involvement in the Iraq War; others pointed out that Jemini was off-key for a significant portion of the performance. With the passing of time, the latter has become the accepted explanation, leaving Jemini to be viewed as a national embarrassment. But…
“Cry Baby” is actually a bop?! The song has a classic turn-of-the-millennium club beat. The chorus is catchy. The choreo is lovably lame. It reminds me a bit of Steps, who some Eurofans would still love to see at Eurovision; thus, it does speak to the local music scene. Since their glory days ended with the 20th Century, the UK has sent so many well-sung but unbelievably bland—in other words, “nice”—entries to the contest. But “nice” is boring. I’d take a Scooch or Jemini any day over a snoozy performance by Jessica Garlick (somehow, 3rd place in 2002) or an Andrew Lloyd Webber jumpscare in a D-grade Disney ballad (Jade Ewen, 5th in 2009).
So yes, I’ll sheepishly admit: Jemini’s “Cry Baby” slaps.